


It's All Over, But The Crying

by moomoomeep



Category: Fallout 4
Genre: Black Sole Survivor, Blind Betrayal spoilers, Established Relationship, First Kiss, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Multi, Post-Break Up, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, brief mention of suicidal thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-21
Updated: 2016-03-21
Packaged: 2018-05-28 03:30:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6313663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moomoomeep/pseuds/moomoomeep
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some things are harder to let go than others.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's All Over, But The Crying

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! School and work keep me busy, so it’s been a while since I’ve written something so I might be a little rusty lol. Hope you guys enjoy regardless!
> 
> Featured song: “It’s All Over, but the Crying” by the Ink Spots.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Fallout or the song featured.

_“Everything you think you know baby is wrong_  
_And everything you think you had baby is gone_  
_Certain things turn ugly when you think too hard_  
_And nagging little thoughts change into things you can't turn off_  
_Everything you think you know baby is wrong_

 _It's all over but the crying_  
_Fade to black I'm sick of trying_  
_Took too much and now I'm done_  
_It's all over but the crying . . .”_

Former Paladin Danse is lying in his bed staring absently at the ceiling while the radio drones softly in the background. It’s been three months since Danse first found out that he was a Synth, three months since Arthur sent Serena out to exterminate him, three months since he and Arthur broke up.

After banishing Danse from the only real home he’s ever known, Arthur then ordered Serena to say goodbye and return to the Prydwen. Serena, instead, returned to Danse two days later with Codsworth, Preston, and the promise that he wasn’t going to live the rest of his life in an abandoned outpost. 

Danse is more than grateful for Serena’s intervention, and in return, he has done all that he can to help out in Sanctuary, but the events at Listening Post Bravo weigh on his mind more and more each day. He’s having nightmares so often now that it’s affecting his sleep to the point where every time he closes his eyes, he sees the pure hatred on Arthur’s face, the way his body shook with anger and the restraint of holding himself back from killing Danse with his own hands. Worst of all, is the fact that his mind won’t stop replaying Arthur’s words like a twisted mantra.

_“You’re the physical embodiment of what we hate most.”_

_“You simply should not exist.”_

_“Either you execute Danse or I will.”_

_“Allowing Danse to live undermines everything that the Brotherhood stands for . . .”_

_“Danse, as far as I’m concerned, you’re dead.”_

_“The only reason you’re still alive is because of her.”_

Danse turns his head and stares at the loaded 10mm that’s sitting on his nightstand next to the radio. Living with the memories of what he and Arthur once were and their whispered promises of the future is becoming too much for him and he’d do anything just to make the agony stop for one _fucking_ second. He contemplates on what he should do next when his thoughts are interrupted by a series of knocks on his front door.

“Danse, it’s Serena. Can I come in?”

Danse hesitates and looks at his gun. The 10mm always sits on his nightstand because it’s easier to draw and shoot in an unanticipated situation. He considers putting it away, but feels as though Serena would inquire as to where the weapon went if he tried to hide it. Danse sighs, deciding to leave the gun where it is. He sits up and swings his legs over the side of the bed before saying, “Come in.”

The door opens and Serena walks inside, smiling and still dressed in her tattered Minutemen General Uniform. “Hey Danse,” she says. “A bunch of us are having a bonfire by the river. Would you like to join us?”

Danse thinks over the invite for a moment and is about to say no, when he notices that Serena’s smile has been replaced with a look of concern.

“Hey, is everything alright?” she asks.

Danse sighs. “Not really,” he says honestly.

Serena comes further inside the building and shuts the door behind her. She crosses the length of the room and sits down on the bed next to Danse. “You know that you can talk to me about anything,” she says, her voice gentle.

Danse stays silent for a moment and after grappling with his thoughts, he decides to continue being honest. “I just . . . I know this is going to sound weird, but I really miss Arthur,” he admits.

“You do?” Serena says. She’s trying not to sound surprised and utterly fails. “Even after he tried to have you killed?”

“Yeah, it’s just . . .” Danse trails off before sighing. “I’ve never told anyone this, but up until three months ago, Arthur and I had been in a long term relationship.”

They’d known each other since Danse first joined the Brotherhood. Arthur was ten and reclusive and Danse was thirteen and a newbie, but it seemed so natural that they drifted together. Over the years, they grew closer and Danse began developing feelings that he kept a tight-lipped secret until right before Arthur was named Elder.

Danse remembers that day well.

Arthur was nervous because a representative from the West Coast Elders had arrived at the Citadel the night before and was requesting a private meeting with him. Being only sixteen at the time, it was understandable that Arthur was worried, despite all that he had accomplished. He had wanted Danse to come with him, since they’d been through just about everything side by side, but they both knew that he couldn’t come.

_“Arthur, you’re going to do great,” Danse says. He’s sitting on the bed in his private quarters, watching as Arthur fixes his hair in the busted mirror for the seventh time._

“ _Do you really think so?” Arthur says, turning away from the mirror and meeting Danse’s eyes._

_“I know so,” Danse responds honestly._

_Arthur chews on his lower lip and opens his mouth like he wants to speak when he’s interrupted by a knock on the door._

_“Arthur, I know you’re in there,” drawls the familiar voice of Head Scribe Rothchild. “It’s time for the meeting. Come out when you’re ready.”_

_“Well, I guess I got to go do this,” Arthur says with a heavy sigh as he rubs his sweaty hands on his pants._

_Danse rises from his bed and places what he hopes is a comforting hand on Arthur’s shoulder. “I know that you’re nervous, and it’s completely understandable, but I know that you’ll do great.”_

_Arthur snorts. “How do you know?”_

_“Because I believe in you and even though I can’t physically be in the room with you, just know that I’ll be right beside you in spirit.”_

_A tiny, hopeful smile crosses Arthur’s face and he nods. He opens and closes his mouth a few times as if he wants to say something before ultimately deciding to slip out from underneath of Danse’s hand. He slowly walks to and out the door, his nervousness evident in each step._

_Danse watches Arthur leave before he looks around his room, trying to find something that he can busy himself with when he sees Arthur reappear in the doorway. He gives Arthur a questioning look as he shuts and locks the door behind him._

_“Why’d you come back?”_

_“I forgot to do something.”_

_“You did? What did you for--?”_

_Danse is cut off when Arthur grabs him by the front of his shirt and hauls him in for a kiss. He gives in wholeheartedly, sealing his lips against Arthur’s and backs him up until he’s pressed against the door that he just appeared through. Arthur groans and wraps his arms around Danse’s neck while Danse grabs his waist and presses their bodies together as they kiss. It’s messy and hurried, full of tongue and teeth, but it’s perfect to Danse and he’s wanted this for so long that he’s willing to take this as far as Arthur wants it._

_The need for air arises sooner than Danse would like and he reluctantly breaks the kiss. Arthur looks absolutely wrecked and Danse can’t help but lean in for another quick taste._

_When they part again, Arthur groans and leans his head back against the door. “Fucking hell, Danse. How long?”_

_“A while,” Danse says cheekily, to which Arthur lets out a quiet snort. “How long for you?”_

_“A while,” Arthur replies teasingly._

_Danse grins before leaning forward and kissing Arthur again, not missing his sigh of contentment. Their kiss slowly grows heated and Danse is tempted to lead Arthur over to the bed when Arthur breaks their kiss._

_“You know I do have a meeting to get to,” Arthur says, grinning widely._

_Danse hums and tightens his grip on Arthur’s waist. “I know, but now, I don’t want you to go. Besides, you started this.”_

_Arthur smiles. “You bet I did,” he says before leaning up and quickly pecking Danse’s lips. “I want to thank you.”_

_“For what?”_

_“For always believing in me.”_

_Danse smiles and leans in to kiss Arthur again, this time slower and sweeter. Arthur sighs against his lips before breaking their kiss moments later. Danse reluctantly pulls away so that Arthur can unlock the door and go to his meeting, which he’s probably late for by now. As Arthur leaves, Danse doesn’t miss the small, dopey smile on his face._

_Later that evening, Arthur returns the newly named Elder of the Brotherhood and his first order of business is to promote Danse to Paladin for all his hard work and the good that he’s done. Danse tries to tell him that he doesn’t need a promotion, but Arthur says that it’s more than deserved._

“Oh my god, Danse. I had no idea,” Serena says, which pulls Danse from his thoughts. “How long were you two together?”

“Four years.”

Serena winces. “Damn. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. We weren’t trying to advertise our relationship,” Danse says, with a shrug. “I’ll admit, sometimes it was harder than others, with us getting hurt on missions and all, but everything was fine with us up until—”

“Until I recovered that information from the Institute,” Serena says, horrified with guilt written on her face. “Danse, I’m so sorry. If I would have known . . .”

Danse shakes his head. “Please don’t even think about blaming yourself. It’s not your fault—you were just following orders.” He pauses for a brief moment before continuing. “If anything, you proved that Arthur and I wouldn’t have worked in the long run.”

Serena furrows her brow. “What do you mean?”

“Arthur’s true prejudice against Synths was revealed at Listening Post Bravo. At first, I would tell myself that he was lying to keep up appearances, but I know when he’s lying and he wasn’t,” Danse says. “Even if there was some miracle that would have allowed for me to stay in the Brotherhood, I wouldn’t be able too. Not with the knowledge of exactly _how_ much he hates me.”

He sighs heavily, knowing that he’s been doing that a lot lately. He feels Serena place a warm, comforting hand on his shoulder and he gladly leans into the touch.

“I wish there was something that I could say or do to make everything better . . .”

“But, there’s nothing that you can,” Danse finishes. “I know and I appreciate you wanting too, but this is something that I have to keep working through on my own.”

“I know, buddy,” Serena says before squeezing his shoulder. “If you need anything—and I mean _anything_ —don’t hesitate to ask me, no matter what time of day it is. You’re my friend and I hate seeing you hurting.”

“Thank you, and I’ll definitely take you up on that, but I think for now, I just want to go to sleep.”

“Okay,” Serena says. She squeezes his shoulder one last time before getting up from the bed. She walks to the front door and opens it before hesitating in the doorway. She turns to look at him before saying, “Goodnight Danse. Sleep well and remember, if you need anything, you come and find me.”

“I will. Goodnight Serena.”

Serena smiles before turning off the light and exiting Danse’s home.

Danse lies back down with the radio still playing softly in the background. He turns and looks at the 10mm sitting on his nightstand next to the radio, illuminated by the moonlight coming in through the cracks in the roof. Danse stares at the gun for an unknown amount of time before finally rolling over and trying to get some sleep.


End file.
